in loving memory of

Lillian Barden

Aug 11, 1936 – Sept 19, 2024

Our cherished mother, Lillian Barden, was a force of nature.


She was a planner, a fixer, a writer, a teacher and pretty damned funny. She was the friend you called who actually showed up, a person who picked up the phone, and someone who could browbeat any difficult obstacle, institution or person into submission with what she called her Lil Barden Voice — a heavily Bronx-accented-take-no-prisoners vocal technique she used to stop scammers and over-chargers, and succeed in business and academia.


She was a doer and a changer, and she made so many things possible for her children, her friends and her students—she really changed the world one (mostly) willing person at a time.


She was always interested in life, reinvention and stories. She read books like she breathed air, and was the VP of my father’s successful construction company—the numbers and relationships person who reigned in his creative overflow.


After they divorced, she finished a Masters and PhD in Business, and met her second longtime partner, Gordon Rieger, in the latter. He was a politically conservative Lt. Colonel in the Army and found his feminist, staunchly liberal match in my mother. They traveled the world together, held hands on walks, and found their greatest joy in giving bad directions and organizing their Costco-like food scores after shopping at the Army PX.


After eighteen years and in her second year of getting an MFA in creative writing (at sixty-four!) Gordon died and she grieved him terribly. She then went to a grief group and met a whole new set of strong women friends. She would continue to form and sustain women’s groups of all kinds for the rest of her life.


In addition to the two men in her life, the women were ALWAYS there. Beverly, Deb, Dyanne, Arlys, Rae, Celia, Carolyn, Pat, Marjie, Caryl, Jean and too many others to list here. She loved you all.


She loved teaching and making things easier for people. She also was a beautiful author who could make you cry with a few sentences scrawled on a birthday card. She mentored people through her many friendships and classes, and had a startling laugh that she sadly passed on to her daughter. 



She created, nurtured and supported her three probably too creative children, Dan, Alice and Chris, instilling in them her moral compass and ethics. Her devoted niece Laurie was like a second daughter, generous and loving to a fault. She had the most perfect grandchild in Duke, and he would turn out to be her last great love. She was absolutely the best mother for us, and for that we are so grateful.

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